"This is a moon without a tide" -The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Show Your Bones

This is the acoustic version of one of my songs. It tells a true story of a spider that I once met. This was the fastest song I have ever written; it was finished within half an hour though the spider hung about being spidery for a matter of days. Before dissapearing that is, as I remember it the web stayed a while longer and then was gone also. He was a nice spider.

I saw a spider at my window
I tried to leave, but I couldn't go
All I could do is stop and stare
As he pulled his throne out of the air

And after a while he stopped to wait
I tried to leave but it was fair to late
I find it odd but I can't despise
Such a beautiful creature amid his web of lies

He spoke to me and said he's watching the world as he hides
Deep at the front of his web of lies
But what does he see, what does he hear,
What does he do when he catches fear?

And as I watched he caught a bee
But he just waited a while and then he set it free (True!)
I want to know what's in his mind
Is it odd that for our kinds?

He spoke to me and said he's watching the world as he hides
Deep at the front of his web of lies
But what does he see, what does he hear,
What does he do when he catches fear?

What would you do?
Anansi spoke to me,
He said what would you do?
What would you do?

As a note, Anansi is a well known spider from West African traditional stories. He himself was synonymous with skill and wisdom in speech. Anansi came to occour in many other cultures subsequently.

"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore, Prisoner of Azkaban

The following is just creative writing. A mess from my mind tumbling out too fast and too lazily to find a rhyme scheme. I hope you find it has integrity.

Have you ever looked into the sky, just to find that it is the eyes of another? If you turn your back on the world that surrounds you do you think you can forget where you are? Can you lie to yourself with such conviction that you can be transported to a dimension where it is just you and the owner of those sky-eyes? When you remain in so close a proximity that the flow of Time himself is cut out of your domain, do you use that moment wisely enough? Is too little implied, too much? Am I asking too many retorical questions? Can you answer them?

In this moment there is an understanding for every word, a delicate compasion for each sentence; though you may not relate to the whole. It feels to be a universal feeling.

Each movement is absorbed and you know you will never miss a thing. The annoyance remains however: though you understand everything while it is tangiable and before you, its grasp will flitter away later leaving you with the absence and lonliness after such comprehension. This can only be filled with doubt as you analyse those whisps of memory that remain. Those teasing fragments that cannot bear justice to what you knew you witnessed.

There is always a focus for these memories though - they cannot escape us completely. You may be left with a lingering touch on your skin, a smell just out of your reach perchance. For me this time it was a smile. His smile stays with me and flashes before my eyes when I close them. It did not melt me like a book would have one believe, or have me curdle into girlish nonsence. This smile merely left an impression, deep into my mind. A first glance would show none of the complexities that lay behind this smile, and they are never present when you look for them.

It was not a smile I had seen him wear before. This smile was so complex and so simple and so contagious. It was a natural smile, a smile of a genuine nature. Involentary and honest. It is a smile I will remember for the rest of my life, in fleeting images and beautiful moments like a half remembered dream. It was a beautiful smile.



Congratulations if you bothered to read all of that. It's very raw; there was no processing of words between mind and canvas hence it's being a stickler for reading.

"You've got a vampire on your neck, everybody knows what happens next." -KT Tunstall, Tiger Suit

The Magpie Jewler

There was a girl with dreams untold,

With heart of light, young and bold

Sing she would to the birds, and fly

With them through a lullaby.

Then one day as her song was sung,

Her song was heard and in turn undone.

Her joy and beauty had filled the sky

To be spied by a certain Magpie.

Now this Magpie was not as would seem,

Heart dark with greed for what he'd seen.

This girl to him, so delightful

Brighter, prettier than all sweet metal.

"Girl," he'd cry, "none else so sweet sings,

Live with me, sing for me and I'll give you rings,

Necklaces silver to gleam when you twirl,

Come with me and I'll give you diamonds and pearls."

So each time she sang the bird gave her a ring,

A necklace, a pearl, a beautiful thing
He loved her so and when he saw her
He called her, his sweet, his Magpie Jewler.

All was well, most fine with the Magpie

She could never starve and never die,

But as days wore to weeks and then into years

The girl found she missed the solidity of fears.

Wanting once more to share her song,

She decided to go back to where once she'd belonged.

But the Magpie's gifts now held her down,

She couldn't walk for her Jewler's crown.

Wishing to leave she begged him for goodbyes

But the Magpie, he turned and plucked out her eyes.

She sang of her sorrow and broken heart,

Slowly, carefuly, her spirit broke apart.

But inside her, all held on one hinge,

The desire, the call out for revenge.

So slowly the girl worked as she'd sing

For that loathsome bird that'd give her rings.

Though little was the Magpie to know,

That deep in that girl, a plan was to grow.

She worked away at her beautiful things,

The necklaces, bracelets, diamond filled rings.

She welded them to with her passionate heart

Full of anger and pain for that bird's part

In trapping her will and claiming her mind;

What she made was a cage of jewels combined.

She trapped him there within his cage

Of gifts he'd given her, they hadn't aged,

The metal strong and sweet - it held him fast

And the girl at last, frowned, then laughed.

"You know that I will not miss you

Though it seems what you called me once now is true."

She smiled and turned, that was last he saw her,

His sweet, his beautiful Magpie Jewler.

.oOo.

A story that I met in my head a long while ago now. It is the Magpie whose character is quite defined in my mind, the Magpie Jewler herself is rather an annomaly however. This started as a song, but the story outgrew it and now I am trying to tame it into some tangiable form. I wouldn't call it finished, I'd call it bottled and maturing.

The image used at the top is another of my own that I feel is a part of the fabrication of this tale - hence the inclusion. The paint is acrylic and there were many materials included in its making, (kitchen roll, book pages, snakeskin and grit to name a few). The canvas itself is 75cm x 1.5m roughly.

"Like to try one? Go on, go on. Have a bite." - Queen, Disney's Snow White

Thought I'd put the finished product up here for anyone who was interested. This is a picture of my final piece for the art project that has been discussed a little previously. It it is on a roughly 1.5 x 1.5 meter board canvas in Oilbars. If you have not come across this wonderful medium, think of them as oil paint in a stick form that is suitable for both painting and drawing.

I will admit that it only looks impressive large and close up. I was rushed in completing this work and so there are many little flaws with scale and proportion that I sadly just didn't have time to smoothen out however I am very aware of them.

Hope you all like it! Critisism welcome. Also thanks to everyones input once again, especialy my models and Harri for 'lend' of the apple and for helping to choose the image I went on to use for my final piece.



"Parker, we're running out of time." -Lady Penelope, Thunderbirds

Time; it almost seems to be scuttling away from me like an agitated hour-glass with ants for sand grains.

On second thoughts though, would that not make it even

s l o w e r ?

 

So why is time skittering feverishly away from yours truly? Was I evil in a former life? It's not clear, but at this rate maybe. I was planning on blogging some more of my poems but they'll have to wait their turn. With british influences I'm sure they know how to queue. So instead of poems or thoughtfull thoughts I bring you (with a flourish) photographs:

So here is what I have been up to. This is a glimpse into an art project that is eating up my life, the gist of it being that I have less than a week (like five days now?) till ultimate dealine day! Which is when all this stuuuff is in for. Will I make it? Maybe. By the skin of my teeth? Almost certainly.

Incase you haven't guessed (and you will be forgiven for not having done so at a more reasonable point) this is a portrayal of Snow White. I am looking into twisted fairy tales. In this instance the idea being that Snow White did not merrily take that rosy red apple as Disney would have you believe, but was forced and strangled into doing so. Joyful aren't I? Anyway, that is how these photos came into existance, 'these' being three of about a hundred and twenty odd. ONE of them are to become my final piece. Alas, decisions.

..oOo..

So, yes it has been a momentary while since my last blog indeeeed. This I feel is mostly due to an unpleasent experience of a personal nature involving a lonley and missunderstood stranger. I skim over this topic as I do not wish to resurface it; I merely mention him as an explaination for my life being put on hold and set off kilter, as such.

Having looked back over what I have just written I would like to add that there has been police involvement and obviously this is no longer anything to worry about, (I have been assured). Now I am obliged to add that I am emotionally stable, (though I have been assured that I am still as unstable mentally as I ever was, yay!).

Back to my nifty point about time however; there is simply not enough of it! I think I'm going to request that an extra few seconds are invented? Perchance they may jumble together and pass me time when I need it. It's late and I have not thought through all the implications of this claim yet so don't hold it against me. I can advise you now though never to vote for me as Prime Minister as simliar whimsical notions would, I have a feeling, be fulfilled. It's a good job I'm not polition material let's put it that way. However Hitler was a vegetarian and a painter also so hmmm... Not sure where the flip comes over. What a bastard. Now I am babbling (professionaly).

All photographs in this post are my own and have not been edited because I am a lazy shit. Pictures of their paintily states to follow soonish-maybe-but-maybe-not-soon-at-all (in theory).  

"Curiouser and curiouser." -Alice, Adventures in Wonderland

Currently befuddling my way

through depressing metaphorical mountains of art that I "really-should-have-done-before-now-and-not-left-till-the-last-minute"! (Again).

I truly do feel sorry for my art teacher. Anyway, I thought I'd put my half finished study up here while I try and scoot about for some inspiration.

The picture opposite is a (half finished) study of one of Sir John Tenniel's illustrations for the first Alice in Wonderland book. I've lost my favourite fine liner and the pen I was using just now has sputtered out and died. After much profuse cursing I decided to rant about it on here. I must confess I feel more and more disgusted by it each time I look at it. It looks much better big, trust.

The title for the project is 'Twisted and Interwined'. A beauty of a title for sure, so why aren't I sprouting art out of my ears!? Alas and if only. I have chosen to meander my way down the route of twisted story tales. This led me to stuffing my Alice-look-alike of a sister into a swimming costume and into a box and taking pictures. The idea here being that the large Alice is too big (hence lack of clothes) and is all twisted up in the confined space. Then I went on to taking photos on a set that gave the appearance of Alice being awash in the huge dress she is now too small for and all interwined in. Sneaky, no?

Anyway, after using those photos to create a large scale exam piece on a freezer box (the idea being you could sit inside it and be confronted with the sheer scale of the Alices) I have struck, with a gong, a huge dead end.

I might be doing another shoot of a friend dressed as Snow White and have her being choked on an apple as the Queen strangles her. That would be twisted visually and so is the plot... Another idea is to look at Belle from Beauty and the Beast from the angle of 'maybe this girl is mentally unstable', I mean who knows? I am so behind it is unreal, I haven't been messing about too much, I've just had too many other commitments. I guess art just gets pushed to the bottom. Depressing really, seeing as it's the subject I am most passionate about.

Oh smeg, I really need a new fine liner.

"The progress of knowledge and refinement has a tendency to circumscribe the limits of the imagination, and to clip the wings of poetry." -William Hazlitt, 1818

Even when all the components and time I could possibly require to complete a moderately simple task are provided;

focusing on said task can still prove to be an impossible challenge.

As a lazy idiot and insufferable delinquent I am typing away here when doing other things would be considered sensible. However, here I am and here's a song that I have been writing that's been specially adapted as a poem for this blog. Let me know what you think.

You tear all of your fantasies down;

As you burn your kingdom and hang your crown

Above the fire, on the mantelpiece

As you turn your back with chilling ease.

Seen stubbornly stalking from Memory Lane;

We all know that it will bring you pain,

But you're kept in the dark as we wave 'Goodbye'
You still don't bother to ask us 'Why?'

You'll spy the wolf waiting on your path,

You'll see he's hungry; patience will not last.

Turn back now, or walk on by,

Either way he'll cook you up a lie.

You venture on with nought but fear,
You shudder and jump at the dark and queer
Sides to your road that you dare not leave;
It takes courage to walk, but more to breathe.

If you lend others your hand, in turn they'll hear
All your woes and will nurse your fear.
They can help you too, so do not hide,
Don't call them beasts before you see them in light.

Learn that chance is not given, it is yours alone,
Allow yourself to be guided, don't rattle your bones
In asking for what you cannot yet have,
Give them time and in turn you'll be glad.

The wolf's eye still glitters out in the dark,
Knowing as ever you've passed off the mark,
Going on now holds your only known chance,
To blindly be led like a knight to his lance.

As you stumble on through your awakening dream,
You find that all is not as it would first seem,
Any warmth is now gone; the lights have been doused,
Look back in caution as you reach ol' Tollgate House.

Ushered up the stairs by those monsters-turned-friends,
You can't help but wonder if you'll see them again,
Alone and palely loitering on the landing you stare
Through the door, across the floorboard to the one by the chair.

The girl holds her chin high to the sky
As she tears down her fantasies, you're begging her why.
Your eyes open wide as she burns kingdoms down,
On the mantelpiece, you see, lies surrendered her crown.

She turns and she catches the look in your eye
As she stalks on out past, you demand to know why.
She is silent, certain, she turns from Memory Lane,
You know then that you won't see her again.

Your tale is full told; a cycle complete
You have yet to find out if you can live in peace.
Now building new kingdoms, forming new towns,
It will take you time though to don a new crown.

But in time you will and again you shall reign,
Older and wiser remembering your pain,
And time and again, the House, you'll remember,
The girl, her crown, the kingdoms, their embers.

And you'll pray for the others who'll question their time,
Try to beat their own fortune, write their own rhyme,
For you walked to the House from your Memory Lane
And you know it's a journey that can't be walked again.

"Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps it's brain." -Arthur Weasley, Chamber of Secrets

                 You heard the man,

don't trust the internet      


...or me I suppose.

Well this is interesting, new at least and almost exciting. I have yet to feel enthused about this whole 'Blog' idea. I was inspired by a friend but that inspiration seems to have fizzled out and died. "Collapsed slowly like a flan in a cupboard," healthy douse of Eddie Izzard for you there. But it is understandable though, there are so many buttons and choices. Do I want colourful font, sparkly pictures, cartwheeling computers? I feel quite perturbed, like a cat that's been given a slobbery dog ball. You know, and then their face wants to go 'ew' but they're sort of stuck on the 'er, why exactly?'

The friend by the way is a wonderful character, dyslexic and proud, beautiful and inspirational with big dreams and a bigger heart. We've been friends for a good six(?) years now and she's always been into the technology stuff whereas I seem to come up with a rash when I get too close to a keyboard. Anyway, I felt that I had let her down by not reading her Blog that she started about a year ago. I only stumbled across it yesterday and felt I should do something about it. This is me doing something about it; I'm going to try and 'follow'(?) her and I'll give ye a link and maybe you, (imaginary and non existent reader), will be able to appreciate it. It's honest, an eyeopener and worth a read.

Anyway, I don't know who I'm expecting to read this, I don't think I want to promote it to my friends. I don't plan on this Blog, (is that meant to be spelt with two g's?), being personal but I like the choice. Also I don't see there being much point in my using this like a diary, so that makes it a gallery of sorts. I have mentioned previously my ineptitude concerning ICT which I why I do not have a deviantART or YouTube account. It would probably be wise for me to attempt to create one but it looks a little complex. I hope this Blog, (sod it I'm using one g), will encourage me to move on and create one and hopefully promote my art and/or music to the rest of the world, rather than raw thoughts.

I think this is more than enough from me as a start for this strange internet phenomenom. Next time maybe I shall attempt to put some of my art or poems or something of interest on here. For the meantime, adieu dearest imaginary reader!